ACTOR'S GIRL
by mollietaz
Summary: Actor finds a new friend


Actor's Girl.

Only one hour and ten more minutes to go before he could see her. As he sat on the train that was all that he could think about . He had known her for such a short time but she was more special to him than he would ever have imagined possible, and he could not wait until he saw her again and she was in his arms and he could hold her, and let her know how much she meant to him , and just how much he loved her.

He saw the elderly lady in the seat opposite him looking at him and smiling, He smiled back at her and said `Good Morning , beautiful day isn't it?

She laughed , Unless I'm much mistaken it would be a beautiful day for you even if the heavens opened and we had the worst storm of the year`, she said

He joined in her laughter, `You are quite right` , he said` Nothing at all could spoil today for me`.

`Your in love `, she said, ` At my age I can always tell, and you haven't stopped smiling since you got on the train`, she giggled

`You are very astute `, he said `My friends call me Actor`, he said , as he took her hand and kissed it.

`She giggled like a schoolgirl, `I'm Gladys`, she said ,`And I'm old enough to be your mother , and you should be ashamed of yourself flirting with a woman of my age, `

`Someone so beautiful could not possibly be old enough to be more than my older sister ,` he said gallantly

Gladys looked at him . `Oh I bet no woman's safe when your around, no matter what her age, you're a real charmer , aren't you? I hope this girl of your's knows what she's letting herself in for`, she teased.

Actor laughed ,`Maybe not everything yet,` he said smiling ,

`What's her name then ?asked Gladys `At my age I can be as nosy as I want , so tell all, how long have you known her?

`Her name is Rachel , and she has the bluest eyes and the blondest curly hair I have ever seen , she looks like an angel, and I have known her exactly two weeks and five days, and it feels like a life time`, he told her.

`Oh my you have got It bad haven't you ?she asked smiling

`I'd known my Jamie for six weeks before we were married , knew I loved him the moment I saw him , after that he didn't know what hit him, was a real stunner back then, even if I do say so myself. You want to see? She asked.

`I would love to `, said Actor smiling

Gladys rummaged in her handbag and brought out a picture of a handsome young man and a beautiful girl on their wedding day .

`That's me and my Jamie we were married in eighteen eighty eight, when I was eighteen and he was twenty one , we were together for forty three years before he died , still miss him every day , talk to him still when I'm troubled, helps me , makes people think I'm a little crazy though , but I don't care` , she said smiling sadly ,`he was my whole life you see , never wanted anyone else, and don't you go thinking I didn't get offers after he died , I was still a fair catch if I do say so myself, but it wouldn't have been right , they'd all have been second best , and no one should settle for that, now should they? she asked him.

`Anyone who was lucky enough to have you fall in love with them should count themselves very lucky, for I think you are one very special lady, if I may say so Gladys. He said sincerely.

She looked at him to see if he was making fun of her , but when she looked in his eyes she saw something in the way he looked at her that reminded her of Jamie, and she knew he was telling her the truth, it really was something he believed.

`It I was forty years younger your young lady wouldn't stand a chance and neither would you , she said smiling at him.

`That Gladys is something I wholeheartedly believe`, he said laughing,

The train started to slow down and he looked at his watch . They had been talking for nearly an hour and they were at his station.

`Are you getting off here ?he asked her

`No love I've two more stops yet , my daughter's meeting me ,going to stay with her for a holiday. Her and her husband are trying to get me to move in with them, they're worried about me being on my own . Nice of them , but they don't understand that I'm never alone , and if I try and explain then they'll really think I'm crazy. ` she said smiling.

`I for one have never met anyone less crazy than you` he said,` and you do what you want to do , what you feel is right for you , and what makes you happy , Gladys`, he said seriously,` and may I say I have never had a more pleasant train journey , or had a more amiable companion, `

He took her hand again and kissed it again , and them kissed her cheek.

`May I also say Gladys that if I was twenty years older , you wouldn't stand a chance either , and I would definitely not take no for an answer`, he said smiling

Gladys laughed. `You just wait until I tell her I was propositioned on a train , and at my age too , she'll have a fit ,

I must go , take care of yourself Gladys , you are one very special lady, he said and it has been a pleasure making your acquaintance,` he said,

`Likewise Actor , and you take care of yourself , and that girl of yours`. She said

As the train started to pull away Actor opened the door ,leaped out gracefully and closed it behind him. He stood and watched it pull away , waving to Gladys and smiled to himself, it must be so very nice to feel that you are never truly alone.

Her looked at his watch , if he hurried he would be right on time, after all it was only a twenty minute walk , and the thought of seeing her again spurred him on.

He rounded the corner at last ,and Lucy Emmett came out to greet him

`Oh Actor I'm so glad you could come, she's been so excited , you're all she could talk about for the last two days , she's in the back garden, you know the way by now`, she said

Actor smiled at her and walked through the gate , he stood quietly , just watching her and smiling, until he could stand it no longer .

`Rachel `, he called

She looked at him and dropped the ball she had been playing with and running to him launched herself into his waiting arms. He picked her up and she put her arms round his neck and hugged him.

`I knew you'd come, Mrs Emmett said you might not be able to because of the war and you might have to go away , but I knew you'd come `, she said hugging him again

`I will always try to keep my promises to you, always know that.` he said

She looked at the box in his hands,

`Is that for me ? She asked

`I don't know, do you think you'd like it? He asked her smiling

`If you brought it for me I'm sure I will .` she said seriously

Trying not to laugh he said` Perhaps we should open it and find out , what do you think? He asked

She nodded vigorously,

They sat on the grass with the box between them and he helped her lift the lid and then watched as she sat and stared.

`Is it all right? he asked her

She looked at him and than back at the box.

`Is she really for me? She asked

`If you want her `, he replied

`Oh she's the most beautifulest doll in the whole world, is she mine? really all mine?

`I chose her especially for you , look , she has blonde curly hair and blue eyes just like you `, he said

`Oh she's so wonderful, thank you so much, I'll take such good care of her always ,` she said

She threw herself into his arms `I love you so much `, she said, for ever and ever `, she said kissing his cheek, and then very gently picked up the doll and hugged it too.

He looked at her and said what he had been waiting to tell her for so long

`I love you too Rachel, I always will.`

She smiled at him , sat on his knee,

`Does she have a name ? she asked

`That is for you to choose , he said

`Will you help me ? she asked

`Of course , but we have no rush , we have the rest of the day to choose , now don't we ? He asked her `,shall we take her for a walk down to the park? He asked

`Oh that would be wonderful, dolly would like that`, she said, I'll just go and ask Mrs Emmett if it's all right`, and she ran into the house.

Lucy Emmett came out into the garden and stood next to Actor ,

`Thank you for the gifts , the children love all the new toys and clothes you managed to get for them , we do struggle sometimes , they all grow so quickly`. She said

`You have Angels address , please if there is anything you need just let her know and I'll do my best to help, it is the least I can do when you work so hard for them`, he said smiling at her ,

`It 's not what I call work I enjoy it to much for that , but your help is greatly appreciated , and it was nice of you to send all the children a gift, they get so little.` she said

`You underestimate yourself`, Actor told her ,`You give them all they need , they are happy and smiling , that is a great gift to them`,

Lucy smiled , `Well there's another great gift waiting near the gate as you requested 'and I for one am not going to miss her face when she finds the dolls pram you sent for her,` she said

`They both walked towards the front gate , but the squeal of delight they heard told them Rachel had arrived there first.

They watched as she gently put her doll in her new pram , and then his heart glowed and she called, `Come on Uncle Actor we have to go , dolly's waiting`. And hopped from foot to foot with excitement.

`Well don't you be late back for lunch , ok? Lucy called

`We won't , ` Rachel shouted back ,

`Lucy watched them leave , smiling to herself , and then she remembered.

Looking at the two of them together and knowing how much they loved each other , she wondered how she was going to tell either of them that this was probably one of the last times they would be able to see each other . Rachel's adoption had come through, and her new parents, now living in London, had decided to move to the family home in the country , over two hundred miles away . It was the right thing for Rachel , she was sure of that, but she also knew that one of the hardest things she would ever have to do would be to tell Actor that he would not see the little girl he loved again.

`It was hard to let go , she knew that , but she had to do what was best for the children, so tonight she would wait until all the children were asleep. Let him put Rachel to bed for the last time, and then sit him down with a brandy and hope that he would eventually understand why she had to break his heart, and tell him about Rachel's adoption. She hoped that when Rachel had gone he would have the courage to go through it again and come back and see them , for he had a lot of love to give , and all the children loved him, of that she had no doubt. She hoped she would not lose touch with him completely , for she knew now, it was not only the children that loved him

They sat together and watched the sunset just enjoying each others company, it was peaceful , all the children were tucked up in bed asleep and he did not know when he had felt this content.

`I must be going soon ,` he said I'm booked into the hotel for tonight and then I have to leave on the early train tomorrow, but I should just have time to come and say goodbye to Rachel before I go if that's all right with you? He asked her.

She looked at him ,`There is something very important I have to ask you, and even though it will hurt you , I still have to do this for Rachel's sake. She said

Actor leaned forward ,`What's wrong , is she ill, if she needs a doctor then get her the best, money is no problem, get her whatever she needs `.

`Actor stop,` she said

Rachel is fine , actually better than fine, she's being adopted , the papers came through and her new parents are picking her up tomorrow, What I need you to do is to stay away .

Actor stood up , almost knocking the glass from the table, ` You can't expect me to just walk away ? Let her think that I didn't care , I won't do that to her, and you have no right to ask it of me`, he said angrily

`I have every right ,if I think it's the best thing for her ,she snapped,` she loves you Actor , and you love her I know that, but tomorrow all that she needs to know is that her new parents love her too, she has to focus on them , and if you are here she won't be able to do that, don't you see , you would just be a distraction? she said `This has to be a new start for her, don't make it any harder than it has to be , Please Actor try to understand that this is for the best.

`Where is she going? he asked

`It would probably be best if I didn't tell you , but what I will do is give her parents Angel's address and ask them if Rachel can write to you when she gets settled , that is the best I can do`, she told him.

`So I am never to be allowed to see her again? he asked,

She shook her head`, Truthfully I don't expect you will . And although she will always be a part of your life , if I have done my job right, in a few months from now she will probably not remember much about you at all, Five year olds are like that, she said ,

`I never had a child, he said, ` never realized how quickly they could capture your heart, she smiles at me and all I want to do is keep her safe, make her feel loved, make sure that nothing ever hurts her again.` he said sadly.

`I know`, she said

`How could you possibly understand? He asked her.

She went and stood in front of him.` Don't you think that this is how I feel every time I have to say goodbye to one of them? I take them in and I learn to love them and then I find them homes and parents that will care for them and then I let them go, and each time my heart breaks a little , but I have to do what is best for them , not me. If I keep them here then there wouldn't be room to take in all the children that need my help. So I love them for a little while and then I let them go, and I pass that love onto the next child that needs it, and Actor , there is always a next child, When she has gone and you come back , there will always be a child here that needs your help and your love, believe me.` she told him.

He shook his head,` I will not come back, I cannot do this again, I will not learn to care just to go through this again every time they have to leave, it is to painful. He said

He turned towards the gate,

`Goodbye ,` he said, and if you can, please let me know that she is all right `,

`You are doing the right thing Actor , it is the best thing for her `,she said,

`It is unfortunate that something that you say Is so right , should cause so much pain, ` he said , `Goodbye Lucy and good luck`. And he turned and walked out of the gate towards the hotel.

Thirty minutes and a brisk walk later he was outside his hotel. He was still angry , first with himself for getting too involved with Rachel and assuming that she would always be in his life , and secondly for being mad at Lucy when she was only doing her job. No not a job, he thought to himself, a vocation, maybe. She had to love what she was doing to go through this amount of pain every time a child left her house. He would send flowers and an apology when he got back to the mansion, she deserved that much from him, but one thing he was adamant about , he would never return to the orphanage, and never let any child in his life again, it was just not worth the pain he felt now.

and he promised himself he would never feel this way again.

He checked in and then went to the bar for a much needed drink.

He sat and stared out of the window , and suddenly felt trapped. He felt a despair descend on him, He didn't know why, maybe just the anger and the frustration of the day, all he knew was that he had to get away. Away from the noise of people enjoying themselves at the bar, away form the laughter, away from everything and everybody . He suddenly understood the Warden's need to run , the need to find freedom and peace , the need to escape , if only for a little while from the chaos of the world around him . Right now he envied him his ability to do that. He finished his drink and then walked back outside and just started to walk, not knowing where, he just knew he needed to get away.

The night porter was waiting for him when he returned . It was almost ten thirty, and although the walk had done him good it did nothing to alleviate the depression he had fallen into. He ordered coffee and a brandy and went to his room, he knew he wouldn't sleep, but at least he could sit and read until morning, and then he would thankfully be able to get on the earliest train he could and go home, and he promised himself that he would never come back here again.

He realized he was dozing off when the empty coffee cup landed on the floor. He looked at his watch and found it was just after four a.m.

Deciding that now was as good a time to leave as any he packed his things and headed down to the lobby to pay his bill and walk to the station, He might just as well sit there as here , it would make no difference.

He was standing at the desk when a voice said.

`He may be a little while, said he'd thing to do in the cellar before anyone else got up`, she nodded towards the empty desk . Would you like to join me for coffee , he left a full pot for me just in case my husband couldn't sleep either , please I would like the company ,and it seems a shame to waste it`. She said.

`Thank you `, he said but I doubt I would be very good company right now`, he said,

`Oh that's all right , just have the coffee , you don't have to talk if you don't want to, anyway I'll probably just talk enough for the both of us. I'm just so excited , she said smiling. `My name is Helen, by the way Helen Blake .

`People just call me Actor`, he said, not bothering with the alias he'd used to book in.

She poured him some coffee, `Please sit down, ` she indicated the chair next to her.

`What gets you up at this early hour ?she asked him

`Got a train to catch,` he said solemnly`

Bit early to do that isn't it?` she asked

`Might just as well wait there as here, makes no difference, might even be able to get out of here sooner `, he said

`Why the hurry, if you don't mind me asking? She said

`Just need to get away from this place as soon as possible, no reason in particular`, he said

`If you don't mind me saying so you really are a bad liar`,

He smiled at her , and she looked at him with a puzzled expression,` Did I say something funny? She asked, smiling back at him

`Nothing that I would care to explain right now, he told her . `Let's just say that my job requires me to do exactly that, and I've never been told I was bad at it before`, he said,

`I'm sorry . Didn't mean to offend you `.

`Actor looked at her , `You didn't `, he said,` I think I'm just preoccupied and maybe off my game a little`, he said,

`Oh I can understand that , haven't been thinking straight for a couple of months now, had some choices to make , things that will alter our lives , for the better I hope , but still difficult all the same,` she said.

`We all have to make choices like that sometimes `, he said it's never easy to change your life completely, but sometimes it's just necessary, he said.

`Oh this is a definite change for the better ,I just get scared that it's not going to work out the way we want it to, that I'll do something to mess things up, that I'll get it all wrong, silly isn't it? Worrying about what might go wrong , when everything will probably be just fine`. She said, `But you see this is so very important`.

`Then I'm sure you'll make it work, especially as it is so important to you.` he said

`Oh it's important for all of us, not just me it's a chance for us to be a real family again, ` she said sadly.

Actor looked at her but said nothing , knowing that she would tell him everything without him having to ask .

`We live in London and about a year ago we were caught in a raid, our daughter was killed , and I lost the baby I was carrying and there were complications and I can't have any more of my own . `We were both devastated , I didn't think that we would ever get over it , almost tore us apart , we both blamed each other instead of sharing the grief we both felt. We went to stay with my mother , and gradually with her help , we have learned to love each other again, trust each other , it was her that suggested that rather than keep grieving for what we had lost ,we should adopt a child and start a new family. The first time she talked about it I laughed in her face, as if any child could ever replace my daughter. I told her she was crazy, but my mother never gives up when she gets a bee in her bonnet, so two months ago we end up here at the local orphanage without even realizing what we were doing. I told her I would talk to the lady that runs it, and if I could find a suitable boy then I would think about it, Funny isn't it that my husband never had any doubts that this was the right thing to do ? Just as I knew I could never take a little girl home , knew it would hurt too much if I did`, she ended. `Then a month ago my whole world turned upside down,` she said laughing.`

There was a noise behind him and turning he saw a man dressed in dressing gown and slippers walk up to them.

`Woman what are you doing up at this time of day, come back to bed, ` he said smiling lovingly at her .

`Chris, this Actor , another insomniac, we've just been passing the time`' she said as she walked up to him and hugged him,

`I hope my wife hasn't been boring you too much , when she gets on the subject of our new family , there really is no stopping her`, Chris told him.

Actor smiled at them both. `It is nice to hear a happy ending for a change , ` he said `and I'm sure that you and your new son will soon be a family to be proud of , Actor said,

`Chris looked confused,` Our son? he asked,

`Oh I wasn't quite finished with my story when you came down , she told her husband.

She turned to Actor. `We came down just over a month ago , not really knowing what to expect , I never thought you could just look at a child and immediately know that you loved them, not until I walked into the garden that day , and then all my resolve went out of the window, and I fell in love`.

There was a beautiful little girl, she'd be about five, with golden curly hair and blue eyes, nothing like our daughter, but I knew the instant I saw her that this was a child I needed to take care of for the rest of her life, a child that I loved with all my heart, and we set the adoption rolling in a matter of days, it was, wonderful we brought my parents down to meet her and she was sitting on her grandfather's knee in a matter of minutes talking to him as if she had known him for years. He was telling her about the farm she was going to live on, if she wanted to come with us, and watching them together and seeing her smile , well it was the best thing that had happened to me in a long time. I had a family , just like that, with all my plans thrown out of the window because I fell in love with a child I had only seen once. Crazy isn't it ?

But in that moment I had never wanted anything more than I wanted her. So my son turned into a daughter`, she said laughing,` and I can't wait to pick her up, and take her home and start our new life together .

You must think us very foolish to be so excited`, she said to Actor.

`To love a child so much is not foolish at all, and I know you will both be wonderful parents and that she could not be loved more`. He said, not by anyone.

`It is nice of you to say so Actor , we will always do our best for her , of that you can be sure, ` said Chris, as he held his wife closer ,but for now, will you please come and at least try to get a couple of hours sleep before we leave or you are not going to be in any fit state to take care of anyone,` he gently told her.

`Well I have my orders, it was nice talking to you Actor , and I hope things turn out all right for you too, ` she said

`Actor smiled at them , `Oh I have no doubt at all that they will, not now. Have a good life together , ` he said as he watched them walk away hugging each other like excited children.

He knew now that she would be all right , that she would be loved by two very special people, and suddenly realized that right now leaving her didn't hurt quite so much, not now he had met her new parents.

As he left the money with the night porter and walked into the fresh morning air , he knew he would be all right too, and that it didn't really matter if she forgot him, not when she had someone that loved her as much as they did .A toot of a car horn brought him back to the present, and as he looked up he saw Angel's smiling face,

`Little bird rung me and told me you might be glad of a lift home,` she said

He smiled at her ,`You drove all this way just to pick me up? He asked

`Yep`, she said

`What did you tell the others? He asked

`Told them they were driving me crazy and that if I didn't get away I'd probably have to throttle one of them,` she said

He smiled , `They don't know you're here ?he asked

`No I thought I'd tell them I'd picked you up at the station in London and that we decided to drive home together , just by chance you understand, Wouldn't want them to know about me coming way out here , now would we , they'd never let me live it down,

`They'd never let either of us live it down,` he said`,

` So if your ready to go we'll make a start. We've got quite a drive in front of us, and as it took me most of the night to get here , I'll let you drive some of the way back, it that's ok? she asked him, I'll take a nap , so long as you don't mind , then we'll stop for breakfast somewhere and you can tell me everything, ok? She asked `If you want to , that is ,` she said.

He turned to answer her , but she was already in the car and by the time he had loaded his luggage she was asleep. He smiled at her , he would tell her everything , not because he needed to , but because as a friend he wanted to ,and as he drove slowly passed the orphanage he silently said goodbye to Rachel, and decided maybe , just maybe in time he would come back again.

`You good to go ?`, she asked him never opening her eyes.

`Absolutely ,` he said, and smiling to himself started the long drive home.


End file.
